Holiday Decorations, on Me!

Yes, it’s time for Holiday Decorations, on me! Tis the season that the humans find all sorts of odd things put on corgis. In these holiday cards (see below) I am springing forth, ready to replace Rudolph at a moments notice, full of Christmas spirit! (Golden jingle bells, and plush antlers purchased at Goodwill for $5 total, such a deal!)

Tah dah! Drum roll and bugle blast please! Holiday cards 2014!
There are three.

The first is best because there’s a Kincaid painting in the background. When you see those cozy cottages it makes a corgi wonder how nice it might be to lie by the fire, drink cocoa, eat desiccated liver, and have a belly rub. There’s cocoa in that cottage for sure!


Because we do not like to plagiarize other people’s art we did a couple of other versions. Though we like Kincaid’s background art the best. (Note to Kincaid’s estate: we are not selling these and never will. This is for entertainment purposes only and we fully acknowledge the stunning and cheery beauty of Thomas’s art. Ranger the Corgi is a good guy and will always acknowledge the art of others.)


That version (above) wasn’t so great. But we had a photo of some Christmas lights lying around, so what the hey.


Then there was this image (above), we used a public domain snow scene. We can work with that, right! Not bad. Two paws up!

To make these holiday cards my human did something she calls “photoshopping.” She transformed the gray sidewalk of reality into a winter wonderland, not once, but three different times for the holiday cards.

Want to see the original photo, from the sidewalk near Companion Animal Hospital? I knew you would. It was a very savory location that all the canines had carefully marked.

0982companion_ehuffman, Ranger in holiday antlers and jingle bells sits outside the vet's office with a unhappy expression. Get these decorations off me!

First I just wasn’t in the holiday spirit. What I endure for my human’s whims!

0973orig_ehuffman, Ranger's expression changes "But then I saw how much attention I was getting from the vet staff, and there was the scent of holiday dog biscuits in the winter air!" He's ready for his photoshoot.

Then I saw how much attention I was getting and there was the scent of holiday dog biscuits in the winter air!

At first I felt kind of “meh” about the photo shoot. The antlers were pinching my head, the bells jingling in my delicate ears. I said “Hey wait a minute! You need to talk to my agent!” But the vet techs, my human, the paparazzi, were all just snapping away. “He’s so cute. He’s so handsome.” Sure, but where are the biscuits! If you haven’t seen this corgi video beautifully illustrating “meh” dogittude about costumes then you really should:


Ranger gets some loving, and gives some back, at Project Purr.

I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.

Okay, so all this decorating and fussing about pictures was lots of fun, for the human. However I enjoyed a more reflective and socially responsible moment when I visited Project Purr. (see photo of me reclining, above) They help rescue cats. I’m in favor of that. Rescue them and then chase them, good plan. Here I am doing some corgi therapy at Project Purr, in their Rescued Treasures shop.

I hope that lady liked her corgi therapy as much as I did, “a little to the left and get that spot under my chin, ahh, that’s it!” says Ranger.

I haven’t written in so long that I afraid I’ll wear you guys out trying to show you everything…however, because I’ve been to the vet recently we’ll go from the “Holidays” to the “Paw Maladies.” I had a mass in my foot…not a Christmas Mass, a lump. It was removed by a highly skilled surgeon and staff. It was a big deal, because I am a big deal. When I was at the vet’s office I saw a cork board with lot’s of dog pictures on it.


Cork board at the vet’s office. Wait a minute? Is that I picture of me? Forget Waldo, where’s Ranger?

Cool, look at all those faces! Now wait a minute! I’m in there. Can you find me? Well see the picture below, there I am! This was taken while I was having fun at the vet. I was smiling a lot to let them know I was a really good friend and that they shouldn’t hurt me or spare any biscuits in pampering me.


I’m hoping to get to some real snow sometime soon, now that the Sierras actually have snow. My paw is still healing, so my humans might have to buy me some little winter boots, lined with soft fur. Then the Queen and Pappy Snack Pockets can bundle me up in a wool coat and pull me around on a toboggan loaded with dog treats. That would work.

So that’s it, the end of 2014. It was a weird year. High points: 1. Rolling in a very smelly cheesy substance over at Luna’s yard…it made my humans gag. It was that good! 2. Going to the Puppy Breath Boutique and chowing down on desiccated lung! 3. Getting my herding HT title to add to my herding PT title. So now I’m Ranger the Corgi, HT, PT. I’m qualified for sheep herding. Now where are those sheep! No sheep in the suburbs. This is a problem for me…but, I digress. Low points: my horse died so I don’t have one anymore. My paw hurt and had to have surgery. Well, it wasn’t an easy year…but I try to stay “on the good foot” at least until the other one heals. I hold good thoughts and images for 2015. I hope it is filled with happiness, sheep and biscuits for all of you!

As we say in herding “Keep walking! Don’t stop to argue with your dog. Don’t frighten the sheep. Keep walking.”
—Ranger the Corgi

Ranger the (Scratchboard) Corgi

Woof my friends, woof.Ranger the Corgi as Art (1 of 1)

Well, here I am again. This does sort of “capture me”, though I’m sort of “scratchy” looking. Not itchy, scratchy, as in scratch board. I’m liking this look. It’s a sort of a digital scratch board effect. My mom likes it too.

It’s late and I have to go see how my livestock are doing. I need to “worry” them a bit. It’s my job. Worry them and feed my horse. Sniff around. Say hi to Chloe the Border Collie. Pee on the fence posts. Check the neighboring pasture for cows.

Art’s fun but the work at the barn is my real job. I’m a cowboy.

I’m always short. But, today I’m short on words. My word for the day is “woof,” that’s it. Woof.

“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.”— Oscar Wilde

Enjoy this nice art of me.
—Ranger the (Photogenic) Corgi

Ranger the Corgi, as Art (3 of 3)

wacky filter on corgi face

Ranger with wacky rainbow filter on photo. “Is this art yet?” he asks. “Maybe not…maybe just try drawing with a pencil?”

Corgi face, Ranger the Corgi face altered by "mirror filter" in iPad Photo Booth.

Ranger tests out an iPad Photo Booth feature “mirror” filter. It was “oil painted” in Photoshop later…Ranger says “I think you’ve captured my scary wild (fearsomely symmetrical) wolf-like face.”

Ranger as Art 1

It’s a special bunch of filters and messing around in Photoshop that helped to make this lovely picture of me (directly above. My Pappy Snack Pockets, aka Jeff, took this photo. My mom messed with it.) The other images above are just some play with Photo Booth and Photo filters…but I think my mom might want to try a portrait in pencil. You know, like in the old days, using a real pencil. So, stay tuned for that…um, give her a day or two.

Two Paws Down

Ranger the Corgi at the Apple Store.

Ranger visits the Apple Store. He’s under impressed and under the table.

This last weekend we visited the Apple Store in Los Gatos, California.

My humans seem to think this place is so much fun. But I have to give it two paws down.

I guess it just depends on your perspective. I’m here, on the floor, it’s a nice floor…but I’m just not “feeling it.” There’s a lack of quality smell in here. The area is barren and there are no benches or couches. Nothing growing. There are no food scraps and no urine markings!

Dust bunnies, if there are any, are not fun. They’re not real bunnies.

People pat me a little bit here, say “hello, are you a corgi?” and then lose interest in me pretty fast. They wander off to stare into boxes of light.

So, if you go to an Apple Store, and you’re a corgi. Don’t expect much. When you go down the street take a left. There’s a store, just a half a block down, giving away dog biscuits!

Is it weird in here, or is it just me? —Steven Wright

Keeping it short. Over and out—Ranger the Corgi

Corgi Quotes

Ranger the Corgi and three sheep, his "mom" is tying to learn herding.

Ranger and his sheeps…and one of his peeps.
Cell phone snap shot by Martha Deihl.

The Lord can give, and the Lord can take away. I might be herding sheep next year.
—Elvis Presley

I brought a Border Collie back home to Vancouver from Wales—where some of my ancestors are from—and needed to challenge him in other ways than just being my pet. So I investigated sheep herding and took a few lessons, and decided I was probably learning more than my dog!
—Jane Siberry

The sheep will go in the direction that their ears point.
—Ranger the Corgi (Elise please pay attention, this is important information. Woof!)

Walking the Trail with Pappy Snack Pockets


In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.–Margaret Atwood

Yes, exactly. You should smell like dirt, pee, grass, and death. Dirt: from shredding the ground in your mark-ups. Pee: from your brushes with interesting social postings. Grass: just nuances as a reminder of nature. Death: as a reminder of life, just a whisper of death, a desiccated worm found flattened on the trail, or something a coyote digested, though not well. Human’s call this “disgusting” but I don’t know the meaning of that word.

It’s basically spring here already and it’s been here since about February 14, the day I didn’t get chocolate.

Acacia blossoms dotted the Carmel trail. They’re a very yellow, sneezy flower.

Acacia blossoms dotted the Carmel trail. They’re a very yellow, sneezy flower.

For corgis most of the best smells are conveniently located at nose level and right along the trail, often in the tall grass…

For corgis most of the best smells are conveniently located at nose level and right along the trail, often in the tall grass…

Umm, nice. Corgi sniffs along the spring trail's tall grass.

Umm, nice. The world has gotten green and luxurious for me.

I know, we’re on this trail in Carmel, and it’s spring and lovely. But, I must stop for a moment and address an important concern. It came to my attention that Jeff didn’t really like his nick name “Uncle Snack Pockets.” I apologize for my thoughtlessness. I love this guy (alot) I don’t want to hurt his feelings. From now on I’ll be calling “Uncle Snack”  the more respectable name of “Pappy Snack Pockets.”

We like to kid around and make up names. Elise is “The Queen.” Jeff is “Pappy Snack Pockets.” I’m called many names: “Mr Begoobecurs,” “Rainboo,” “Stranger,” “Hoover,” and “Whyyoulittlemonkey.” We all have a bunch of little knick names. However, these names should be somewhat respectful. No one ever calls me “Junior Poopy Bum,” for instance, and I appreciate that. Sometimes our nicknames are not nice ones. For instance Jeff is also “Possum Socks” and Elise also goes by “Sheewawipoo,” her “Indian name.”

How did they get these names? Jeff’s socks were once stolen by a possum. Elise often carries my poo bag around for multiple uses, so “She Walks with Poop” became “Sheewawipoo.”

Of course a full psychological work up could be done on the names we’ve made up for each other. Elise says “maybe some passive aggressive thing going on?” I say “huh!?” The main thing is no matter what anyone calls you you must know that your true name is not any of those names.

So, back to my story. A few weeks ago I hit the trail with “Pappy Snack Pockets.” (Try saying that 10 times fast! “Pappy Snack Pockets, Snappy Pap Hockets, Snacky Hot Pockets, Hoppy Pick Pockets”…grrrrr!) Our “Dog Lover’s Companion to California” recommended Mission Trail Park on Rio Road, Carmel, California, with 5 miles of hiking trails for dogs, off leash! It’s right across from the Mission.

Ranger running on trail, big smile

Can you tell that I’m happy? Woo hoo….running off leash…

Wooo hooo, off leash!

…and running back again!

Ah ha! I know you're up there Nutty McNutkins! I mean Mr. Gray Squirrel.

Ah ha! I know you’re up there Chirpy McNutkins! Ahem, I mean Mr. Gray Squirrel.

It's wonderful me on a wonderful trail.

It’s wonderful me on a wonderful trail.

Here’s a guy I met I’ll call “Random White Guy,” I could also call him “Little Guy Like Me”
I said “I’ll be with you in just a second. I’ve got to figure out this scent.” When I looked up he’d been dragged away by his humans. Hey, wasn’t this an “Off Leash Trail”?

I liked this trail immediately, because I was just really happy to get out of the car. I would have been happy to get out of the car pretty much anywhere. Anyplace not moving will do.

I also liked that we had never been to this place before, and it was not too hot, not too cold, not too steep, too urban or too sterile. Lots of dogs had peed there. (Yay!)

You’ll have to visit this place yourself, if you’re ever in the area. The trail winds around. It goes by creeks and ravines, even a view or two. It has a little bit of manicuring to its natural beauty. I give it two paws up!

Here I am with my most excellent human, Jeff, aka “Pappy Snack Pockets.” Make sure when you hit the trail that you have a human along with deep snack pockets! But find your own, this Snack Pocket is mine.

Here I am with my most excellent human, Jeff, aka “Pappy Snack Pockets.” Make sure when you hit the trail that you have a human along with deep snack pockets! But find your own, this Snack Pocket is mine.

Here we are again, back at the car. Carmel Mission Trail on the right...park on side of road.

Here we are again, back at the car. We’d walked a big circle. Carmel Mission Trail on the right…park on side of road.

Remember not to shake off the dirt before you get in the car. Don’t let them wash that stink off of you!—Ranger the Corgi.

Ranger’s Retreat

Ranger the Corgi hides in a hole at the beach. He calls it "Ranger's Retreat"

Ranger’s Retreat, or Where’s Ranger? (click on the picture to see better)

There are thousands and thousands of dog bloggers. Too many to read, some amusing or thoughtful, some not worth raising your leg on.

At the start of this new year I have been thinking about what I post and how often. more thinking than I usually do. When a dog blogs it’s important that he choose words and pictures carefully or no one will bother with them. They’ll say “He’s just a dog. Let’s not listen to him. Let’s eat hamburgers instead.” If readers, with two legs or four, hands or paws, proper snout or odd flat little button nose, don’t sniff it, what’s the point?

Writing can be a kind of a lonely activity. I thought about this during a little retreat I took from the hustle and bustle of the world, in my private hole at the beach. This hole was already mostly dug by some larger dog, or a pack of human children, so it was easy to fit myself into.

Closer to Ranger's Retreat, you can see Ranger the Corgi's head sticking out of a hole at the beach

Can you see me now?

In my hole I pondered these questions: Why did I start this blog? Am I happy with it? Do I want to make any changes to it? Stuff like that. Then I saw some seagulls and forgot everything else but the seagulls.

Yes, must focus, just to share, I started this blog because I’m so handsome that I thought everyone might want to admire me. I still feel that’s true. Let’s face it I’m very handsome, a dog star. Now though I also want to share more than just my beauty. I want to share my perspective on the world, 14″ off the ground… and a fraction of an inch off the ground in “sniff mode.” I hope to amuse my people, and make them smile. I love when they do that! I also hope to make them think, because sometimes they don’t do a very good job of that. And sometimes I want to help them not think, because they do too much of that.

Maybe I need to share more of my activities off the beaten? Or maybe more of those on the beaten path? (Last week I realized what the beaten path is. It’s where all the humans walk and it packs down the earth. It’s their big flat feet, those clown shoes they wear. Deer paths, coyote paths, those are not beaten, they remain fluffy…the fluffy path is harder to walk on. You sink in. Especially if you’re a corgi. But, I digress.)

I hope to post more often in 2013. Why? Because. Is because a reason? I think it might be. I don’t like it when there’s too much pee to analyze on one post, so I hope to keep it brief and to the point. I pledge to visit other dog’s blogs and see what they’re up to. I pledge to keep my word count down. Woof! Woof!

Ranger says "Hi, welcome to Ranger's Retreat! Wait, no, it's a retreat. Go away. Come back in about 15 minutes with biscuits."

Hi, welcome to Ranger’s Retreat! Wait, no, it’s a retreat. Go away. Come back in about 15 minutes with biscuits.

Meanwhile that retreat hole on the beach was cool and comfortable, Ranger’s Retreat I called it. I suggest finding a good hole and spending some time in it to clear your thoughts. Make sure that your human brings you drinking water. Train your human to bring a pocket full of snacks. Make sure to look a little bit sad when you want to go home.

“Retreat: a place and time for you to get reacquainted with you; the ebb in ebb and flow; a solitary sanctuary for renewal; a safe haven; a snug den, a refuge.”—Corrie Woods

“Retreat: a crate, a hole, a snug den, under a chair. A place to go when nothing’s happening or when too much is happening.”
—The Lawn Ranger