Ranger the Corgi, as Art (3 of 3)

wacky filter on corgi face

Ranger with wacky rainbow filter on photo. “Is this art yet?” he asks. “Maybe not…maybe just try drawing with a pencil?”

Corgi face, Ranger the Corgi face altered by "mirror filter" in iPad Photo Booth.

Ranger tests out an iPad Photo Booth feature “mirror” filter. It was “oil painted” in Photoshop later…Ranger says “I think you’ve captured my scary wild (fearsomely symmetrical) wolf-like face.”

Ranger as Art 1

It’s a special bunch of filters and messing around in Photoshop that helped to make this lovely picture of me (directly above. My Pappy Snack Pockets, aka Jeff, took this photo. My mom messed with it.) The other images above are just some play with Photo Booth and Photo filters…but I think my mom might want to try a portrait in pencil. You know, like in the old days, using a real pencil. So, stay tuned for that…um, give her a day or two.

Your’e Like Me, I Like You

“Friendship is born at that moment when one dog says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
― modified from a C.S. Lewis quote by Ranger

The beautiful Gwinny

The Beautiful Gwinny, a digital painting by Ranger the Corgi Esq.
(zoom in to see the corgi paw work)

I thought I was the only one. After hours as the only dog in the house I often lose track of my connection to my true kin. Though I was born to a litter of 6 (or so) I eventually became an only child in the suburbs, weird how that works. I must constantly reconnect with my species.

I’m reliant on my people for this. They control my very destiny. They have the keys to the car and the exit doors. Usually there are dogs to be found, at the duck pond, on the side walk, on the beach or the sheep ranch, it’s a crap shoot as to who you’ll meet, but the careful sniffing of their urine keeps me in touch with those present in spirit, if not in the flesh.

Luckily for me I know many girls, yes, I’m bragging. Here are a few: Hope, Ziva, Valentine, Daisy, Bet, Chloe, Sienna, and Gwinny, Jellybeans (who I haven’t actually met yet) and Beryl (a FB friend who may not be real). I see them for a while and then they’re gone. Just like that they’re pulled away on their leashes and stuffed in cars. I leave extensive notes for them to know my smell. So that they can find me again. I say to them, quietly, next time you smell my note just stay here until I return. If I can’t return then I’m sorry to make you wait. Many girls won’t speak to me anymore, they may have waited too long. With so many distractions and no keys to go places it’s no wonder I can’t faithfully return. It’s not that I don’t want to, I just can’t. I know, it’s sounds like some crap, but it’s true.

Ranger and Gwin the corgis, on their first date. Marking time and the barn corner at Oak Hills Ranch. Good times!

Ranger and Gwin the corgis, on their first date. Marking time and the barn corner at Oak Hills Ranch. Good times! (zoom in, by clicking, to see the corgi paw painting strokes)

I have been told that I’m a natural therapy dog. But my Uncle Snack Pockets says maybe I’m really a therapypee dog. Funny Uncle Snack Pockets, he comes up with the best jokes. Here’s a pee pee, theresapeepee…ooops, I digress….

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Place your postings here. I’ll check later and leave you a message. We’ll stay in touch.
No, well I didn’t call you, I lost your number. I can’t drive. I can’t visit. All I can do is leave you some messages. I love you, Ranger.

I wrote a song, my first, for my newest girlfriend, the lovely Gwinny.
You’ll have to just imagine my vocalization of this, with coyote chorus backup. I title this Hey, hey Gwinny.

Hey, hey Gwinny Dear, How I wish you were here
I can remember the barn corner we both peed on, like it was just last week.
Because it was just last week.

Hey, hey Gwinny Dear, maybe we could go and have a beer,
then find some sheep and try to herd ‘em, or chase a cow that’s not absurb, um…

Baroooo, baroooo, baroooo!

Let’s dig some holes and find some voles
Let’s romp and run until we’re done
Let’s corgi on and party too, until the sun is done and through
Let’s sing with coyote all through the night,
until the sun is up and bright.
I’ll share my couch and my bed too,
Because, my Gwinny, I’m in love with you.

Baroooo, baroooo, baroooo!

Hey, Hey Gwinny Dear, things you should know about me, they’re here:
I’m from the burbs, I have a pony, I’m real you see, there’s nothing phony.

You see, my Gwinny, I’ve marked this tree with a love note for all to see,
it says, you can sniff it, that you’re my love, sent from the Corgi God above.

Barooo barooo, barooooooo!

xoxo I’ve got to go, Your ahem, sometimes, somewhat faithful, Ranger Boy

The lovely Gwinny, Ranger's corgi girlfriend, herding sheep.

Gwinny and I have a shared passion. This is a good thing in a relationship.

I painted these photos of Gwinny in Photoshop.

A joke I ‘d like to share with all my friends:

“Windchimes are for stupid people so they know when there’s a breeze.”—Steven Wright

Near Oak Hills where Ranger herds sheep, a landscape painting by me, Ranger

Near Oak Hills where I herd sheep, a landscape painting, zoom in to see the fine corgi paw brushing details. There are no sheep here, they’re all across the road, in their pens.

Ranger’s Retreat

Ranger the Corgi hides in a hole at the beach. He calls it "Ranger's Retreat"

Ranger’s Retreat, or Where’s Ranger? (click on the picture to see better)

There are thousands and thousands of dog bloggers. Too many to read, some amusing or thoughtful, some not worth raising your leg on.

At the start of this new year I have been thinking about what I post and how often. more thinking than I usually do. When a dog blogs it’s important that he choose words and pictures carefully or no one will bother with them. They’ll say “He’s just a dog. Let’s not listen to him. Let’s eat hamburgers instead.” If readers, with two legs or four, hands or paws, proper snout or odd flat little button nose, don’t sniff it, what’s the point?

Writing can be a kind of a lonely activity. I thought about this during a little retreat I took from the hustle and bustle of the world, in my private hole at the beach. This hole was already mostly dug by some larger dog, or a pack of human children, so it was easy to fit myself into.

Closer to Ranger's Retreat, you can see Ranger the Corgi's head sticking out of a hole at the beach

Can you see me now?

In my hole I pondered these questions: Why did I start this blog? Am I happy with it? Do I want to make any changes to it? Stuff like that. Then I saw some seagulls and forgot everything else but the seagulls.

Yes, must focus, just to share, I started this blog because I’m so handsome that I thought everyone might want to admire me. I still feel that’s true. Let’s face it I’m very handsome, a dog star. Now though I also want to share more than just my beauty. I want to share my perspective on the world, 14″ off the ground… and a fraction of an inch off the ground in “sniff mode.” I hope to amuse my people, and make them smile. I love when they do that! I also hope to make them think, because sometimes they don’t do a very good job of that. And sometimes I want to help them not think, because they do too much of that.

Maybe I need to share more of my activities off the beaten? Or maybe more of those on the beaten path? (Last week I realized what the beaten path is. It’s where all the humans walk and it packs down the earth. It’s their big flat feet, those clown shoes they wear. Deer paths, coyote paths, those are not beaten, they remain fluffy…the fluffy path is harder to walk on. You sink in. Especially if you’re a corgi. But, I digress.)

I hope to post more often in 2013. Why? Because. Is because a reason? I think it might be. I don’t like it when there’s too much pee to analyze on one post, so I hope to keep it brief and to the point. I pledge to visit other dog’s blogs and see what they’re up to. I pledge to keep my word count down. Woof! Woof!

Ranger says "Hi, welcome to Ranger's Retreat! Wait, no, it's a retreat. Go away. Come back in about 15 minutes with biscuits."

Hi, welcome to Ranger’s Retreat! Wait, no, it’s a retreat. Go away. Come back in about 15 minutes with biscuits.

Meanwhile that retreat hole on the beach was cool and comfortable, Ranger’s Retreat I called it. I suggest finding a good hole and spending some time in it to clear your thoughts. Make sure that your human brings you drinking water. Train your human to bring a pocket full of snacks. Make sure to look a little bit sad when you want to go home.

“Retreat: a place and time for you to get reacquainted with you; the ebb in ebb and flow; a solitary sanctuary for renewal; a safe haven; a snug den, a refuge.”—Corrie Woods

“Retreat: a crate, a hole, a snug den, under a chair. A place to go when nothing’s happening or when too much is happening.”
—The Lawn Ranger

Sniffing Around the Neighborhood

“Court of Mysteries” on Fair Avenue, westide Santa Cruz

“Court of Mysteries,” west side Santa Cruz

I took a sniff with my people along West Cliff Drive. The wind was whipping the scents up into the air, but a little rain was pushing them back down, good smells, dog postings.

This story, if you can call it that, will be mostly in pictures. Sometimes I get irritated about words. Words are overrated. Images are more direct. Smells are even more profound. I’ve marked this laptop a few times but the smells just don’t stay on the blog. I need some technical help with that. This isn’t a story but kind of a snap shot of that rainy morning, minus the urine.

We sniffed past this place called the “Court of Mysteries,” an eccentric brick castle with really tall grass. (Click on the photo to see it bigger. But you still won’t be able to smell it.)

A car built like a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, a lowrider.

A car I kind of like, a lowrider, like me!

Check out this low rider car. It had sort of a face, with a set of teeth at the front, a brow, a nose and was very low set to the ground. Ideal shape, a good car for a Corgi. Oh, crap, well I can’t drive. Keys allude me, among other things…(My human must have liked this car, I’m just playing along.)

There’s also, for some reason, a side view of  “my” low rider car. And now a whole bunch of photos mostly of stuff we saw and me smelling stuff the humans didn’t want anything to do with.

side view of low rider car

Side view of that lowrider car.

Buddy digs a hole at the beach

Buddy digs a hole at the beach

Then I thought I saw my buddy Buddy. He was too intensely focused to look up. Here’s a close up. I wasn’t exactly spying on him…I’m not a creeper, but here’s a candid shot of him enjoying a good dig.

Then I realized that it wasn’t even him.

Buddy close up shot

Buddy close up shot, ooops, not Buddy.

Come on let’s get moving.

Come on let’s get moving.
Ranger sniffs more pavement on the sidewalk

This pavement is so wonderful. Just try it. You never try it.

Then I sniffed. A lot. Did I say that already?

Okay, just a couple more photos and I’m off to micro manage that horse.

Let’s go….(loud sigh!) Wooooooof now!
Keep Moving Your Mind, Keep Moving. Move!
—Ranger the Corgi

Intense clouds

Threatening rain brings out the best pavement smells

Analyze, scratch and sniff the spot

Analyze, scratch and sniff the spot. Remember to ignore the tugging on the leash.

And mark it!

And mark it!

Yellow ice plant flower in the rain

Yellow ice plant (aka “Magic Fingers”) flower

Hey guys, got that biscuit?

Hey Uncle Snack Pocket, got that biscuit?

Better angle on this maybe

Keep moving your mind.

So, now what? Where should we go!?

So, now what? Where should we go!?